Kicking for Stress Relief

"Can't do that now because I'm afraid something will BREAK, BUST or FALL OUT."

~Tadara Smith

Gone with the Wind

She talks like all of her sentences should begin with "Well, I declare!"
- H. Risner, commenting on the lovely accent of an acquaintance.

Ad Production Blasts from the Recent Past

"Somebody please shoot me and roll me over twice."
- A. Hunter

"No man looks that good in a hat ... looks good without the hat."
- K. Newsom

"Have you checked your drawers lately?"
- C. Carden

"You look like a hot ball of gas."
- G. Smith

"What is this? Is this a scam?"
- Advertiser in response to a faxed proof

"Our designers don't talk to anyone."
- C. Carden

"Thank you for taking the HEL out of Helvetica."
- V. Williams

"My eyes may get a little droopy because I just ate."
- C. Carden

"I was going to offer you some of my goodies."
- V. Williams, referring to Goody's powder

"Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant."
- K. Phillips

"I love your balls."
- C. Hester

"Could you please dye my hair green."
- A. Shultz

"I remember those green people."
- M. Arbour

"Send it to the shipper."
- J. Wyatt (she meant "ship it to the printer")

"Yeah, they like grease 'em up."
- A. Shultz (referring to wrestlers)

"The 173rd time is the charm."
- K. Hausauer

"Teal is a gaggy 80s color anyways."
- A. Shultz

"My chroma is not matching."
- A. Shultz

"Disillusioned and disgusted ..."
- N. Lorens

"I LOVE melon-balling."
- V. Williams

"Can I squeeze your monkey?"
- C. Hester (referring to Jill's monkey toy at her desk)

"And now my PPCo is not working!"
- K. Hausauer

"I've had kids, but I'm not a woman."
- V. Williams

"Now, have you ever tried that with a cantaloupe?"
- T. Bell

"My bellybutton is like a nose."
- A. Shultz

"Primal scream therapy works."
- V. Williams

"Look at my nub!"
- V. Williams (after her shark attack)

"Why would anyone want to be electrocuted on purpose?"
- V. Williams

"He got down on all fours and asked her to marry him."
- V. Williams, about her daughter's engagement

"Today is the best day ever ... there was a pickle under my sandwich!"
- A. Shultz

"You're such a man!"
- J. Wyatt

"Don't make fun of my pants."
- C. Hester

"There are these glasses at Wal-Mart - have you ever seen Star Trek?"
- K. Hausauer, about her sister's potential glasses purchase

"Are you a male or female?" - A. Shultz
"Um I think I'm female ..." - K. Hausauer

Making a PDF in Microsoft Publisher

"Something that ugly shouldn't be this hard!"

-Natasha

Afternoon Snack

I'm full of peanuts.
-Hazel Risner

In Response to "I was cooking with gas"

"I've got a gas cooker."
- H. Risner

The Problem with the Printer

Your picker finger's broken.

–The printer guy

The First Post

"Riding the bus makes you strong."
- C. Carden